


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

by Rahar_Moonfire



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Essek Thelyss Has Chronic Pain, Essek Thelyss Needs a Hug, Feeblemind Spell, Hurt/Comfort, Post ep 97, Verin is good brother, actions speak louder than words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28677882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahar_Moonfire/pseuds/Rahar_Moonfire
Summary: Fill for a Critical Role kinkmeme prompt:Shadowhand Thelyss has not been seen in public since the assassination attempt on the Bright Queen. Rumors abound, but the Queen herself rebuffed them. The Bright Queen is an Umavi. Her word is final.Verin wishes politics weren't a thing because he desperately wants to help his big brother. Maybe the scruffy human and his ragtag band of "heroes" can help. At this point, Verin will try just about anything.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 34
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** I finally found the Critical Role kinkmeme. I typically just peruse for stories, but ended up finding an unfilled prompt instead. It hooked me, and thus, we have this. 
> 
> This takes place post-episode 97. So beware of spoilers if you haven't reached that point. This should remain gen, but it might go up to Teen.

It was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time. Essek hadn’t been the intended target. But when hands began moving in familiar forms and lips shaped arcane words, he reacted. He stepped between the would-be assassin and the Bright Queen faster than anyone else could react, pushing her away and protecting her from the fray. Fortunately, the would-be assassin was dead now, three crossbow bolts embedded in her back and the acid slowly melting the skin off her face. Unfortunately, she managed to get off two spells before she was stopped.

Neither spell was strictly fatal, but they would have caused significant problems. Power Word Stun alone would have knocked the Bright Queen off her feet. But coupled with Feeblemind, it could very well have been deadly in the long run. The peace between the Dynasty and the Empire was still fresh and fragile, neither side truly trusting the other to keep to the Treaty yet. If the monarch of the Dynasty was incapacitated, innumerable problems could arise. 

But the Bright Queen was spared that fate. Essek, however, was not. By stepping between the Kryn monarch and the caster, he had effectively knocked her out of range, and put himself directly in both range and line of sight. Both spells struck him one after the other in quick succession; too quickly for him to get a Counterspell up.

Essek’s expression slacked in shock from the Power Word Stun before the light drained completely from his golden eyes as the Feeblemind spell took hold. Essek staggered before slipping to the ground where he lay unmoving and unblinking.

The court was in chaos. An assassin had attacked the Bright Queen and felled the Shadowhand. Den Thelyss effectively stomped on that rumor. Yes, Shadowhand Thelyss had been stunned, but he was most certainly not felled. He was fine and doing his duties as was expected. Nothing to worry about. Even the Bright Queen herself said so. The Bright Queen was an Umavi. Her word was final.

Verin sighed, dropping his head into his hands. If only that were true. If it was, then he wouldn’t be here in his brother’s sanctum, delving into the numerous books, scrolls, and notes of arcane nonsense looking for something,  _ anything _ that could help him. He was at his wit’s end. Seeing his brother like that, when he managed to actually  _ find _ his brother (honestly, who knew there were so many places to hide in the Den Thelyss home!), was heartbreaking. 

Veri and Essek had never been particularly close due to their differing interests, their duties, and their mother’s machinations. But they had never been enemies. They had never hated each other or treated each other any less. Essek was aloof, but Verin understood the delicate nature of his position as Shadowhand. He wasn’t a politician himself, but he could guess at how many silk sheathed blades had been aimed at his brother’s back. 

Honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if the Bright Queen hadn’t been the intended target like the rumors claimed. Maybe it had been Essek. They’ll probably never know now. 

It had been Verin’s idea to come here and look. His conscience gnawed at him for leaving his brother alone at the Thelyss household, but he  _ needed _ to find a way to fix this. None of the Luxon cleric were allowed to help. Doing so would open the door for the truth to slip out. 

“Wait it out,” they said. “The spell traditionally lasts for 30 days.”

Thirty days, Verin’s ass. It had been closer to 40 days and no change. It was  _ maddening _ . Why would-

That wasn’t Essek’s handwriting. Pushing aside a couple papers covered in his brother’s elegant, controlled script, Verin pulled out a single page that had someone  _ else’s  _ handwriting on it. It wasn’t much. Just notes in the boundaries, a circled notation there, an annotation there, an and even a finished equation.

Verin knew for a fact that Essek was  _ very  _ secretive and protective of his books and notes. Even Verin knew better than to go through them. ...Well, technicalities…..

So that left the question of who would Essek have trusted enough to not only lend them his notes but to allow them to  _ write their own  _ as well? It almost looked like Dunamancy work. A fellow Dunamancer perhaps?

Well, it was as good a place to start as any. He’d have to be careful about who he spoke to and how he worded everything, but maybe he could find help from whoever wrote these notes. Quickly, he sorted through the papers and picked up every piece that had the strange handwriting on it before making his way down the tower stairs to leave.

He was still going through possible scenarios for tracking this other wizard down when he opened Essek’s front door and very nearly walked straight into someone. Who?? What??

Oddly, the stranger looked just as confused and surprised as Verin was. The man’s bright blue eyes sparkled in the false starlight and faint green light from the street lamps. His reddish hair hung in messy, chin-length locks that framed a face that bore the marks of someone who had seen too much in their short lives. And this man’s life was definitely short because Verin could clearly see rounded ears. A human.

He opened his mouth to ask a question when the human spoke first.

“I’m terribly sorry,” he said, holding his hands up and stepping back. “I didn’t realize Es- the Shadowhand had visitors. Em, I could come back later perhaps?”

Verin stepped out of his brother’s home, locking the door behind him. He hadn’t missed the Human’s subtle slip. Very few people called Essek by his birth name. “I doubt that,” he said, tucking the borrowed notes into his belt. “The Shadowhand is currently busy running errands for the Bright Queen. I’m not sure when he’ll be free.”

The Human’s shoulders drooped dejectedly. “Ah, I see.” 

Verin couldn’t help but wonder what a Human would want with his brother. Unless this was one of those odd mercenaries he’d heard about? The ones who returned one of the Beacons?

Even if that wasn’t the case, the Human had sharp eyes. 

“What are doing with those notes?” the Human said, his voice carefully neutral.

“The Shadowhand asked me to retrieve them so he could work on them during his breaks,” Verin replied easily. “I hardly see how that’s any of your business though.”

“Is it not.” It wasn’t quite a question, and the gleam in those blue eyes wasn’t quite dangerous. Yet. “Then perhaps you could answer a question before you leave, ja?”

Interesting. “I might,” Verin hedged.

“Where is Essek Thelyss?” the Human demanded, his tone almost as hard as his eyes. 

“Why do you ask?”

The Human shifted subtly, his hands hanging deceptively still by his sides. “He promised to speak to us when we returned, but we haven’t heard anything for over a week. We haven’t received any word, no replies to our Sendings, and no one speaks of him. Not since an…  _ incident  _ over a month ago. Now, where is he?”

Very interesting. “Why do you want to know about my brother?” he asked carefully.

Blue eyes widened. “You’re- You’re  _ brother? _ Essek has a brother?”

“He does. My name is Verin Thelyss, Taskhand of Bazzoxan.” He crossed his arms and eyed the Human with renewed interest. “What do you want with my brother, stranger?”

“Caleb. Caleb Widowgast of the Mighty Nein,” the Human supplied readily, surprise still lingering in his face. “Has something happened to him? Please. We’ve tried contacting him and-”

“Why are you trying to contact him?” Verin insisted. “Obviously you feel comfortable enough calling him by his given name, so you must have earned some level of respect.”

“He is our sponsor here in the Dynasty.”

Good answer. It was a claim that Verin could easily find evidence of, if he needed to. But that obviously wasn’t the whole story. He called Essek by his first name. And judging by the way he corrected himself earlier, it was clearly a habit. 

Damn. This could go one of two ways. One had the possibility of a good result, but also had the potential to ruin Essek’s future and position as the Shadowhand. The other option meant turning away an opportunity for answers and scrounging around on his own. 

Please be the right choice. 

Reluctantly, Verin sighed. “Walk with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

From now on, Caleb was going to agree with Jester’s ideas. ...Alright, not all of them. But he would definitely at least consider all of them. It was definitely a good thing all of the Mighty Nein came to check on Essek. Caleb would be forever grateful to them for providing backup. 

They were all tired of the secrecy and hush-hush nature of this. Essek Thelyss was the Shadowhand of the Dynasty, true, but he was never just… gone. Even after the Mighty Nein discovered his betrayal at the peace talks, Essek had still replied to every message Jester sent him. He still helped them where and how he could. 

There was just a distance between them now. Essek had still been friendly and helpful. He just kept himself at arm’s length. Caleb was infinitely grateful for Jester’s lack of respect for personal bubbles. She’d popped Essek’s on a regular basis before and had continued to do so after. The tiny, wavering smile that always tugged at Essek’s lips was something Caleb would treasure.

He missed their study sessions, their in-depth talks of Dunamancy, the light laughter that would tumble from Essek’s lips after a few drinks, and the hesitant kisses they had shared. Caleb still believed in Essek, he still believed Essek’s feeling had been honest. He just couldn’t trust the Shadowhand. Not yet. 

But that did not mean Caleb would let Essek suffer alone. It was absolutely infuriating how tight-lipped everyone had been when the Mighty Nein had asked around. It was almost like the people here were afraid of talking about what happened. That secrecy was what had driven the Nein to come to Essek’s place together as a group rather than just sending one of them alone. 

Essek hadn’t responded to anyone’s _Sendings_ or anyone’s _Messages_ , and what they saw when they tried to _Scry_ him was disturbing at best. Caleb had never seen Essek cry before.

Now, as he and his friends followed a wary Verin to the house of Den Thelyss, Caleb hoped what they saw wasn’t as bad as they thought. Maybe they were just jumping to conclusions. Maybe it really wasn’t all that bad.

“This… incident you mentioned,” Verin asked, pitching his voice so only their little group could hear. “What have you heard?”

“Not much, to be honest,” Beau said, shooting the Drow a measuring look. “We’ve been able to put some things together, but-”

“What have you put together?” Verin pressed, maintaining his brisk pace.

Fjord quietly cleared his throat. “That something happened to the Bright Queen, but no one will explicitly say _what_.”

Verin grimaced and Caleb felt the faintest stirrings of worry flutter in his stomach.

“They’re right, something did happen,” he said, surreptitiously scanning the area for any open ears. “Someone tried to kill the Bright Queen.”

Caleb loved his friends. He really did. He trusted them with his life. But sometimes they weren’t very… well, quiet.

“What?!” Beau and Jester cried.

“Holy shit!” Veth gasped.

“That’s concerning,” Caduceus murmured, bless him.

“It is and was,” Verin agreed, lifting his gaze to the home of Den Thelyss as they approached it. “She’s alive and well, but my brother is… not.”

“Oh no,” Jester whispered, her blue hands lifting to cover her mouth. “Is it something we can help with? I’m a cleric, maybe I can heal him if he’s hurt.”

The Drow stopped in his tracks and stared at the blue Tiefling in shock. “You’re a cleric?” he gasped, quickly lowering his voice. “If you can help him, I’ll pay whatever you want to do it and keep silent.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Caleb said, placing a hand on Verin’s arm. “Essek is our friend. We don’t collect debts from friends.”

“Debatable,” Veth muttered. Caleb shot her a look and she fell blessedly silent.

Verin looked genuinely torn between spilling everything and biting his tongue. 

“Verin,” Caleb said, drawing the Drow’s gaze. “I give you my word, we will help if we can. It will cost you nothing.”

After a moment or two of indecision, Verin nodded. “Very well. But stay close to me,” he warned. “Hopefully, if the Luxon shines on us, mother won’t notice our arrival. But whatever you do, no sudden moves and don’t raise your voices. He’s… skittish.”

That was telling. Essek was one of the most powerful mages Essek had ever met. He was a master of Dunamancy and held himself with power and pride. Would could possibly have happened to make such a proud person so frightened.

“Nothing you see or hear leaves this circle, is that understood?” Verin whispered. 

The chorus of assents seemed to be enough because the next moment, the Mighty Nein found themselves inside the home of Den Thelyss. It was quiet and dark. There was a heaviness to the air there that had nothing to do with Dunamancy. It raised the hackles on the back of Caleb’s neck.

“Come. This way,” Verin whispered, turning aside to move down one of the hallways and up the stairs. 

When Verin finally stopped, it was by a door that was locked on the outside. The Drow undid the lock and placed his hand on the knob. “Again,” he whispered, “I beg of you, do not tell anyone else what you see here. If this gets out, it could permanently damage my brother’s image and his position as Shadowhand could be forfeit.”

“You have our word,” Fjord replied solemnly. 

Caleb held his breath, bracing himself for what they would see. Bloody sheets, signs of illness, burns that blistered and festered and-

It was empty. Caleb frowned as he hesitantly followed Jester and Caduceus into the room. There was no one here that he could see. There were hardly any signs of life at all, actually. The room was small and dark. Caleb cast _Dancing Lights_ so he could have a better look around. 

Globules of green light bloomed in the air and slowly moved through the air casting a green sheen on the walls and bare floor. The only other source of light was from the barest line of green from the streetlamps seeping in under the shuttered window. The only other door in the room, presumably the closet door, was shut. There were no knickknacks, bedside tables, lamps, or personal belongings of any kind. 

The only piece of furniture visible in the room was the bed. The bed was large enough to be comfortable, but it wasn’t lavish or anything like what Caleb expected of one of the highest noble families in the Kryn Dynasty. Curiously, the only sign anyone had even been here was the messed up blankets on the bedspread.

He heard the door click shut behind him and turned to Verin as Jester voiced the question no doubt on all of their minds. 

“What is this place?” The Tiefling cleric’s voice was soft with worry.

Verin sighed, his entire form drooping. “It is my brother’s bedroom,” he said simply. “We don’t let him out anymore. It’s too dangerous right now.”

“You lock him in?” Beau said, just barely keeping her voice from sounding like a growl.

“I am sure Mr. Thelyss can explain,” Caleb said, waving a hand to stall his friend’s suspicions. “Right, Verin?”

The Drow looked very uncomfortable. Reaching up to tuck a stray strand of white hair behind his ear, Verin hummed. “Are any of you familiar with the spell _Feeblemind_?” he asked finally.

Caleb nodded. “Yes. It is an enchantment designed to… Oh.” 

Oh. Dear gods above. No. Essek was too brilliant to be struck down by something like that. Memories of eyes sparkling like molten gold as they worked late into the night creating the _Transmorgification_ spell, white hair that was somehow always perfectly brushed, of the gentle smiles and clever, articulate words flowing from cool lips flickered through Caleb’s mind. 

_Feeblemind_.

It made so much sense, and yet none at all.

“How?” he demanded, barely able to comprehend this. “How did this happen?”

“There was an assassination attempt on the Bright Queen,” Verin admitted. “It failed because of the actions of the palace guards and because of my brother. The attacker took the form of a Drow and tried to bespell her majesty, but my brother took the brunt of it instead.” He licked his lips and shrugged awkwardly. “He has been like this ever since.”

“That makes no sense,” Caleb hissed, shaking his head. “ _Feeblemind_ can be broken. Any experienced cleric could break that curse.”

“The clerics have not been informed of what happened,” Verin said, perhaps more forcefully than he meant to. “Mother and the Bright Queen have kept word of the incident under wraps. None of the clerics are _allowed_ to know,” he said, slashing his hand through the air in frustration, “so none of them can heal him.”

“I can do it,” Jester said, raising her hand and stepping into Verin’s view. “Not right now, I mean. I need more diamonds for that, but I can do it. Caduceus, you can too, right?”

“Indeed I can,” the firbolg said, his gaze still focused on the room. “But I think, perhaps, we should discuss this later.”

“What do you mean?” Beau snarled. “They’re playing political games with the mind of someone who saved their damn queen. This is _not_ something we should-”

Yasha gently placed a hand on the furious monk’s shoulder. “Beau.”

“What?” she hissed.

Yasha was silent, merely nodding to the corner of the room. As one, the group turned and there, standing in the now open closet doorway, a violet blanket draped over his head and shoulders, was Essek Thelyss. His wide, pale golden eyes flickered in Caleb’s _Dancing Lights_. His simple, black shirt and pants were dark against his gray skin and silver-white hair. He wore no shoes and he wasn’t floating. 

The globules of light moved through the air, momentarily drawing Essek’s attention, before golden eyes returned to the group. They moved from face, to face, to face, before settling on Caleb. Slowly, hesitantly, his bare feet padded across the floor towards the human wizard, leaning heavily against the wall as he did so. Caleb stayed very still, afraid even the slightest movement would frighten the cursed Drow away. 

A single, gray hand reached out and brushed cool fingertips down Caleb’s cheek, as if testing to see if he was real. Then Essek’s face broke into a glowing smile, the blanket fell away, and Caleb found himself with an armful of Drow. Essek buried his face in Caleb’s neck and clung to the human wizard as tightly as he could.

 _Feeblemind_ was a powerful enchantment that regressed a person down their most basic instincts. They couldn’t communicate or understand any language, couldn’t cast spells, and they couldn’t use any magic items. The cursed victim could recognize friend from foe, but only on the simplest, almost instinctual level. Political allies would not be recognized. Colleagues would not be recognized. But friends, loved ones, they would be recognized, trusted, and even protected by the Feebleminded. It was, perhaps, a darker way of testing a person’s trust.

Caleb never wanted this. Not for any of his friends. But to see someone as intelligent, charismatic, and guarded as Essek Thelyss brought down to this level hurt. Knowing that even in this cursed state, Essek still saw him and knew him to be a trusted friend filled Caleb with a painful warmth that nearly brought tears to his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

“Essek?”

Essek lifted his head from Caleb’s neck and looked over to Jester. When he saw her face, he smiled and lifted a hand to wave. When she took his hand in hers, his smile became a beaming grin that flushed his cheeks a faint violet in the glow of _Dancing Lights._

Jester’s eyes glistened with tears as she pulled Essek’s hand to her chest. “Oh Essek,” she whispered. “We’ll get you better, okay? We’ll help you.”

“Of course we will,” Caduceus said gently, reaching out and ruffling Essek’s hair earning him a sound that Caleb would swear was a giggle. Surprise flashed across the firbolg’s face before he smiled like a parent to a beloved young child.

“This is so weird,” Beau murmured. “But I have to admit,” she added with a crooked grin, “that smile looks good on him.”

“Now I suppose our next order of business is getting those diamonds,” Veth said, her voice drawing Essek’s gaze. 

Slowly, Essek slipped from Caleb’s arms to kneel on the floor so he was eye level with the Halfling. Veth stood still, her eyes wide as Essek smiled and held out his arms to her. She glanced around at her friends before offering an unsteady smile in return and stepped carefully into Essek’s reach. His smile grew and he gathered her into a hug.

“Oh,” she breathed, too stunned to do or say much else. 

“Essek?” The quiet, hopeful call came a moment before Verin’s hand rested gently on his brother’s shoulder. “Essek, can you hear me?”

Essek lifted his head and turned to the speaker. However the moment he laid eyes on Verin, his smile vanished. Golden eyes widened in fear and he skittered back across the floor until his back struck something solid.

“Woah, woah, easy there,” Yasha murmured softly, placing a steadying hand on Essek’s shoulder to keep him from backing further into her legs. He was practically sitting on her feet as it was.

While he may not have understood her words, Essek must have recognized her voice because some of the tension seeped out of his form. He covered her steading hand with his own as if it was his only anchor in the world.

But when Verin crouched and tried to reach out to his brother again, Essek flinched away. Golden eyes squeezed shut and he curled into a fetal position at Yasha’s feet, clutching her hand as tightly as he could. 

Hurt, Verin retreated and got back to his feet. His gaze never leaving his brother’s quivering form. “He must… truly trust you,” he whispered, sadness and wonder coloring his words. “He flees whenever any of us try to approach him, even mother and I. Even the Bright Queen herself isn’t enough to calm him. He ran from her when she tried to help after the spell hit him. He’s afraid of everyone.”

The Drow shook his head and ran a hand through his long hair. “We had to lock him in here,” he said, turning to Beau, “because he kept hiding throughout the house and getting hurt when he did so. He’s good at hiding. The only blessing from this curse is that he can’t cast any spells. Otherwise, he would have crushed us all by now.” 

He shrugged awkwardly and admitted, “It also makes it slightly easier to find him. Since he can’t levitate, he can’t go very far. But he can still find the damnedest places to hide.”

“What do you mean he can’t go very far?” Fjord asked. “Does he not recognize this place or-”

“Oh no, I’m absolutely sure he still recognizes this place,” Verin said enthusiastically. “He remembers all the nooks and crannies he used to hide in when we were kids.”

“I doubt he recognizes it in the way you mean,” Caleb said, kneeling beside Essek and placing a hand on the quaking Drow’s hair. “ _Feeblemind_ doesn’t work like that. I doubt he’s remembering those places so much as seeing them, categorizing them, and using them. Like prey looking for a place to hide from a predator.”

Verin looked stricken. “You think he… He thinks I’m going to hurt him?”

“Have you?” Fjord’s question was deceptively neutral and non-accusing.

“No!” Verin cried in offense. “I would never hurt him. We may not get along all the time, but he’s a mage. I’m a soldier. We’re on opposite ends of the spectrum. Besides, we’re siblings. It’s only natural that we don’t always get along all the time. But we've never been at each other's throats, ever!”

“And yet,” Caleb said slowly, “he does not trust you.”

“I don’t…” Verin’s voice trailed away into silence as he stared at his frightened brother in sad understanding. “I don’t…”

“We’ve got incoming,” Beau said suddenly. 

A second later, footsteps could be heard moving through the hall. Then the lock turned and the door opened revealing a beautiful Drow woman. Her long, thick, white hair hung loose over her shoulders with only a black and gold headband keeping it from her face. Her gray eyes were sharp and cold as she stepped into the room and beheld the tableau. Her gaze moved from Essek still shaking in a ball at Yasha’s feet, to the Mighty Nein, and finally to Verin. She said nothing. She merely lifted an eyebrow.

Verin shifted from foot to foot. “I invited them, mother.”

Again, she said nothing. But the other eyebrow lifted to join the first and she crossed her long, elegant arms over her chest. Verin wilted under her gaze, but stood his ground. The woman’s eyebrows drew low over her eyes in displeasure before she turned to the Mighty Nein.

“You have overstayed what little welcome you were given,” she said. “Leave.”

“What about Essek, mother?” Verin asked. 

Her burning gaze flashed back to him and he immediately fell silent.

“Yes, what about Essek?” Veth demanded, stepping up so her small body stood firmly between Essek and the Denmother of Den Thelyss. 

Unimpressed, the Denmother merely hummed. “You should tread carefully, Halfling,” she said, her voice soft but sharp as shards of glass. “You and your compatriots live in Xhorhaus by the grace of the Bright Queen and the blessing of myself, Umavi Deirta Thelyss, Denmother of Den Thelyss. That blessing can be retracted whenever _I_ see fit.”

“Mother, ple-”

“Stand aside,” the Umavi commanded, sweeping over Verin's please as if they didn't exist. “I would see my son.”

Reluctantly, Veth stepped aside. After waiting just long enough to be rude, the Umavi finally stepped forward. Her long fingers found Essek’s chin and lifted his head, ignoring his whimper of fear. She gazed directly into his wide golden eyes, her grip holding him in place when he tried to pull away. 

She said one word in a language Caleb didn’t understand, then she released Essek’s chin and straightened. Her eyes followed her wayward son as Essek scrambled to hide behind Caleb. Verin spoke softly in what Caleb assumed to be Undercommon and the Umavi listened, but did not reply.

“He stays here,” she declared in a tone that would accept no argument. “If you truly believe you can heal him, then you are welcome to try. But he will remain here where I can keep an eye on him until you are ready to do so. You have three days.”

“I understand your desire to protect your family,” Caleb said, choosing his words with care. “But it will be easier to heal him if he stays with us. I give you my word, no one will find him, no one will learn of what happened to him, and he will be healed in three days.”

“No.” 

The word rang through the room loud and final. Caleb could feel Essek flinch, his fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“He will remain here,” the Umavi said. “Leave. When you are ready to heal him, I will inform the Bright Queen.”

It was a clear dismissal. Without any valid reason that the Umavi would accept, short of grabbing Essek and just teleporting out of there, the Mighty Nein would have to leave alone. The thought of leaving Essek behind in a place he obviously feared, with no one he trusted, and no way to communicate or protect himself burned Caleb's conscience.

“As you wish, Umavi Thelyss,” Fjord said, taking the lead. 

He bowed politely to her before moving to the door. Beau, Yasha, Veth, Caduceus, and Jester slowly followed until it was just Caleb left in the room. The Umavi raised a single eyebrow and Caleb bit back the angry retort that begged to be let loose. Instead, he steeled himself and reached up to work himself free of Essek’s panicked grasp. 

When he turned to face his friend, he was met by soulful gold eyes that had nothing but trust and adoration in them. He clasped Essek’s hands in his own and kissed them.

“I will be back,” he said, knowing Essek wouldn’t understand him but hoping in his heart that Essek would remember this. “I will be back for you. I promise.” He placed a single kiss on Essek’s forehead just as he had that night on the boat when their trust was broken.

Then he did one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He let go of Essek and left.

The distressed gasp of his enfeebled friend tore at him as he walked into the hallway followed closely by Verin and the Umavi. He paused to look over his shoulder just in time to see Essek stumble after him, only for the door to close and lock. On the other side, Caleb could hear Essek pounding on the door and crying, distressed calls wafting through the solid Vermaloc wood.

The Umavi seemed unaffected by the noise as she pocketed the key and turned to the Mighty Nein. Her silence was loud and clear. They were no longer welcome.

As Caleb trudged through the home of Den Thelyss, he swore to himself that when he did return, it would be to do more than just heal his friend Essek. He refused to turn his back on his friend ever again.

Essek’s weeping haunted his dreams that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The eternal night magicked over Roshona sometimes made it difficult to calculate the time of day or night for the M9. Unless you were Caleb, that is. His internal body clock was never wrong. It was early morning, 6:47 to be precise.

He felt rested, but not in a good way. He dreamed all night and now he was sitting on the edge of his bed at the Xhorhouse contemplating what to do next. He couldn’t fix Essek. Only Jester or Caduceus could do that. That rankled him in a way he couldn’t quite describe. He was proud of his friends and hopeful for Essek. But deep down, he knew he couldn’t do anything but wait.

It was driving him insane.

There was a soft knock on his bedroom door a moment before it clicked open revealing Veth’s concerned face.

“Caleb?” she called quietly. “Are you awake?”

“Yes, yes, I am, Veth,” he said, waving her inside. “Come in.”

Slowly, Veth closed the door behind her and made her way over to sit on the bed next to the wizard. She didn’t say anything at first, just looked at him with her bright, observant eyes. Eventually, she sighed and placed a motherly hand on Caleb’s thigh.

“We’re all worried about him, Caleb,” she said gently. “We’ll fix him, don’t worry.”

Caleb sighed heavily, allowing his shoulders to droop knowing his old friend would not hold it against him. “Oh, I have no doubt of that,” he said, smiling wanly in her direction. “It is not us I doubt.”

Shifting so she sat cross-legged on his bed, Veth leaned down and looked at Caleb’s face. “Then what is it that’s bothering you?” she asked.

How to put it to words. Biting his lip, Caleb shook his head slightly. “It is… nothing specific,” he admitted. “More nebulous, I suppose. It just…. Doesn’t make sense to me.”

“What doesn’t?”

He gestured vaguely. “This whole thing. It doesn’t…” With a sigh, he tried again. “Why would someone try to kill the Bright Queen so soon after the treaty was signed? What could they gain from that?” he asked. “And why would the Bright Queen and Den Thelyss keep the details of what happened a secret? _Feeblemind_ is a powerful spell, but Essek is… There has to be something more to this. Something we’re missing.”

“Not necessarily,” Veth said, mildly scolding. “You and I both know that sometimes even the best of us make mistakes. No one is perfect or infallible. We know what Essek did. I’d hardly say he was anywhere near infallible.”

“That is true,” Calen admitted with a sigh. “I suppose there are just questions surrounding this mess that I feel need to be answered before we go through with this.”

Veth considered his words quietly for a moment. “You want to wait to heal him then?” she asked, her voice low and non-judgmental.

“No. Yes. Ack, I don’t know.” He dropped his head into his hands and groaned in frustration. Her felt Veth rub his back comfortingly and let himself breathe and think. “I cannot get him out of my head, Veth,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “The look in his eyes when he saw us and knew us to be friends, the fear of his own family, his cries when we left him there alone…”

The comforting hand squeezed his shoulder. “I think we both know why he was afraid of his family-”

“Do we though?” Caleb asked, lifting his head to look at her. “Do we really know? Or are we assuming we know? It wasn’t just his family, either. He ran from the Bright Queen-”

“If I knew I was a-” She darted her eyes around the room before leaning close and whispering, “-a traitor, I’d run away too.”

“And yet he trusted us,” Caleb countered. “No one else knows what he’s done.”

“Do we know that for sure?” Veth pressed. “Do we? You have to admit, it would make sense why Essek has been locked away and none of the Luxon clerics have been told or allowed to heal him. As long as he’s Feebleminded, Essek is kept under lock and key and incapable of even thinking of escaping. It’s…” She pursed her lips in reluctant praise. “It’s certainly effective for keeping a traitor from escaping.”

“Then why not just lock him in the Dungeon of Penance?” Caleb asked, spreading his hands in exasperation. “If they know, then why not treat him like a traitor?”

“Do you think Essek would understand why he was imprisoned in the state he’s in?” Veth asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Caleb’s mouth worked for a moment before he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No. No, he wouldn’t.”

“Then perhaps this is the fate they’ve chosen for him,” Veth said. “As long as he’s cursed like this, they can brush it all under the rug and avoid the embarrassment of admitting the third most powerful person in the Dynasty betrayed them. It’s convenient if nothing else.”

It may be convenient, but it didn’t sit right with Caleb. Aside from the fact they were only guessing here. Be that as it may, this was not a fate Caleb would have ever wished to befall Essek.

“He’s a member of the Mighty Nein, Veth,” Caleb whispered. “We don’t leave our own behind.”

She opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it. Instead, she just nodded silently. Caleb knew Veth wasn’t overly fond of Essek after his betrayal. But he also remembered Veth offering Essek a place in the Mighty Nein. That offer was never given lightly, nor was it retracted. Essek may not go adventuring with the Mighty Nein, but he was just as much a member of this family as Veth and Caleb were.

The Mighty Nein never gave up and never left their friends behind.

Essek made a mistake. A big one. But he was hardly the only one of the Mighty Nein to do so. He without sin, cast the first stone. That basically ruled out the entirety of the Mighty Nein.

Besides, Caleb now knew without a shadow of a doubt how much Essek truly cared for the Mighty Nein. He wished it hadn’t happened this way, but it did. He couldn’t change it. But he and his friends could fix it.

And a good way to start was to get Essek out of that place, even if it was just for a little while. It was early yet and Caleb still had some tricks up his sleeve. He could teleport to Essek, but he wouldn’t be able to teleport back. It would be a one-way trip. He’d have to sneak the rest of the way. The fact remained, he had to get Essek out of there. Even if it was just for the day while Jester and Caduceus got the materials for-

Jester.

“Jester!” he cried, bolting from his bed and racing out of his room. “Jester!”

“Down here!” came the reply from downstairs.

Caleb nearly tripped over his own feet as he ran down the hall and down the stairs to the kitchen where Jester and Caduceus were cooking breakfast.

“Jester, I need you to send a message to the Bright Queen,” he said, his words tumbling over each other in his rush. “Tell her we know about Essek and we can heal him, but that it would be easier if we kept him here with us in the Xhorhouse. It would keep him out of sight, out of trouble, and we can heal him.”

The blue Tiefling blinked, then she burst into a smile, her tail swishing side-to-side excitedly. “I can do that. Oh, but we have to get the diamonds, though,” she realized, her tail slowing its excited movement.

“He’ll be here when you get back,” Caleb said. “I promise.”

Her smile immediately returned and she gave Caleb a thumbs-up. “Could you-”

“ _Ja_ , I’ll count for you,” the wizard said, a smile working its way onto his face.

He held up all ten fingers and waited while Jester thought through her message before activating her _Sending._ Jester licked her lips for a moment, before nodding and starting to speak.

“Good morning,” she trilled happily, watching Caleb lower two fingers accordingly. “We heard about Essek.” Three more fingers went down. “We can fix him.” Four fingers. “Could he stay at the Xhorhouse with us? He’ll be hidden that way.” Caleb waggled the last two fingers and Jester thought quickly, tail swishing. “That okay?” she asked.

Caleb flashed her a smile and two thumbs up encouragingly.

Jester grinned as her eyes focused on the middle space and she tilted her head, no doubt listening to the Bright Queen’s reply.

“Thank you!” Jester said suddenly, clasping her hands together gratefully.

Startled at the second message, Caleb hastily raised eight fingers to help her keep track once more.

“But I thought the assassin was dead,” she continued. “Is he not?”

What? Caleb blinked, lowering ten fingers. Listening to one-sided conversations was odd.

“Are you okay? Can we talk to him too?” Jester asked. When she hesitated, Caleb waggled his four remaining fingers. Her eyes flickered as she thought quickly. “We’ll be very discrete.”

“What’s this about being discrete?” Beau asked, strolling into the kitchen with a staggering Fjord at her heels.

Caleb pressed a finger to his lips and pointed to Jester. Beau nodded in understanding, crossed her arms, and waited. Veth slipped in beside Caleb and helped Caduceus set the table with plates of food for when they were ready. Fjord immediately sat down and served himself much to Caduceus’ amusement.

Jester giggled at Fjord, before her smile suddenly slipped and her tail slowed to a stop. Her brows furrowed in consternation as she listened to the Bright Queen’s reply. Whatever it was, it didn’t look pleasant.

“What?” Jester gasped, looking up at Caleb in surprise. The wizard hesitantly lifted nine fingers, his blue eyes studying his friend’s expression in concern. “Why would they target Essek?”

Caleb swallowed thickly, lowering five fingers as he did so.

“Do we need to watch out for something? Is there-” She paused, her mouth forming a perfect ‘oh’ as her eyes grew large and round, no longer paying attention to Caleb’s fingers. “That’s why you’re hiding him. You’re protecting him.”

Jester did not speak for several moments so Caleb lowered his hands and waited patiently. Jester’s tail had stopped moving entirely and lay limply on the floor, curled protectively around her feet. After a minute, she looked up at Caleb and her eyes sparkled with worry.

“It was the Cerberus Assembly,” she said. “They weren’t after the Bright Queen. They were after Essek. The Scourger’s dead but they couldn’t get enough information out of them so they don’t know why Essek was targeted. But…” Her tail tucked closer to her ankles and she fiddled with her dress. “Well,” she added softly, “we know.”

Yes. They did know. And it was exactly what Caleb feared. Essek was a loose end and the Cerberus Assembly abhorred loose ends. They wouldn’t bat an eye over eliminating an ally, former or current, if it served their purposes. Masking the attack as a public assault on the Bright Queen would have diverted attention away from the true target. Essek was the Shadowhand of Xhorhaus, one of the most powerful people in the Kryn Dynasty and the person in charge of the secretive Lens spy network. Even if the Dynasty did discover he was the target, which they apparently did, it would still seem like an attempt to eliminate a significant threat to the Empire and nothing else.

Except the Cerberus Assembly was mentioned.

“They moved sooner than I thought they would,” Beau muttered, taking her seat at the table.

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb murmured, “they did.”

Worse, they succeeded.

Or, mostly succeeded. Essek wasn’t dead, just Enfeebled. Granted, this made the powerful mage much easier to kill, but it also gave the Mighty Nein a chance to fix him before the next attempt could take place.

And it would. Caleb knew it would. He had enough experience to know that not only would the next attempt happen again, it would be a permanent fix. He could only imagine the reason it hadn’t happened yet, was because of the Bright Queen and Den Thelyss’ protective measures.

Lady Deirta’s cold attitude made so much sense now. She didn’t know who had harmed her son and didn’t trust anyone to not harm Essek again. She was a mother. Cruel as it may appear, locking Essek away in Den Thelyss and controlling access to him made it more difficult to hurt him.

It was effective, but it couldn’t work forever. Essek needed to be healed and get back to his duties as the Shadowhand. Whoever the Bright Queen had as Essek’s replacement was undoubtedly good, but nowhere near as good as Essek had been. They needed to get this done quickly.

“I’ll go to Den Thelyss and get Essek,” he said. “I can teleport him back here to be sure we aren’t followed. Fjord, could you keep an eye out for any attempts at _Scrying_?”

The half-orc nodded seriously. “You didn’t need to ask,” he said.

“Jester and I will split up and get as many diamonds as we can,” Caduceus said, his serene smile dampened at the grim news. “Between the two of us, I think we can find what we need. If we’re lucky, we could have the spell ready to cast by tonight.”

“We _will_ be lucky,” Jester said fiercely. “The Traveler _loves_ us.”

Despite his dark thoughts, a smile still wormed its way onto Caleb’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** These were the Bright Queen's three messages in order: 
> 
> 1) _“I see. That can be arranged. His expertise is sorely missed. The assassin has been… less than forthcoming. I will speak to Den Thelyss.”_
> 
> 2) _“I’m afraid that’s not possible. The Scourger is beyond our reach now. The Lens believes the true target may’ve been the Shadowhand and not myself.”_
> 
> 3) _“Correct. Until we know more about this ‘Cerberus Assembly’ and why they targeted Essek, we don’t know who to trust or if they’ll try again.”_


	5. Chapter 5

Den Thelyss was just as dark and silent as Caleb remembered it.

“You okay?”

Shaking himself out of his dark thoughts, Caleb patted Beau’s shoulder briefly in reply and approached the front door. Before he could knock, however, the door opened revealing Verin Thelyss.

“Good, you’re here,” Verin said, glancing around nervously. “We were expecting you.”

Stepping aside, Verin gestured for Beau and Caleb to enter, quickly closing the door behind them.

“I, um, I’m sorry about the welcome you received yesterday,” the Drow said as he guided the two friends towards Essek’s room. “She’s normally not so-”

“Rude?” Beau offered, seemingly unaware of how brash her simple statement had been.

Verin grimaced but nodded. “Yes,” he admitted. “It has been hard on her, seeing Essek in such a state. He’s the youngest and, despite his prestigious position as both a powerful mage and the Bright Queen’s own Shadowhand, he is still her baby.”

Caleb allowed himself a soft smile. “A mother’s love is something to be feared and respected,” he said simply, drawing a relieved smile from Verin.

Beau snickered. “Essek’s the _baby?”_ she slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her glee. “I’m going to hold that over him for life.”

“If you really can heal him like you say,” Verin said, giving her a crooked grin, “then as the older brother, I hereby give you permission to do just that.”

“Yes! Endorsement,” Beau cheered.

Caleb waved weakly at her to quiet down but she seemed not to notice. He really wished she had because when they rounded the corner, the Denmother herself was waiting her them. Her gaze was warmer than it was yesterday, but still had the edge of wariness to it. She trusted the Bright Queen, that didn’t mean she trusted the Mighty Nein. Caleb could understand that.

“If this is how you act when secrecy is tantamount, then I hardly see how you could keep my son’s location safe.” Her tone wasn’t exactly insulting, but it certainly wasn’t complimentary either.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re right,” Beau said, waving her hand in a vague motion. “Let’s get this over with.”

Deirta Thelyss studied the two of them, stripping them bare with her eyes, before closing them and sighing. Caleb felt the stirrings of sympathy in his chest. No one wanted a hurt and endangered loved one out of their sight and protection. He could only imagine how he would react if he’d been in her place.

“Thank you,” he said, drawing her gaze, “for trusting us. I know it is not easily given. But I give my word, we will help your son.”

After a moment, she nodded. “I just hope my trust is not misplaced.”

“It isn’t,” Beau spoke up, earning her Umavi Thelyss’ attention. “We don’t make promises if we know we can’t keep them.”

“I trust you to _try_ and keep your promises,” Deirta said, her tone serious and solemn. “But I have also lived long enough to know that fate and other outside forces have a way of undermining even the best of us.”

How true that was. There really was no reply to that.

Without another word, the Denmother turned and unlocked the door, pushing it open and waving for them to enter. “We will stay until you are gone,” she said as Caleb and Beau followed Verin inside. “Then I will lock this door and we will speak of this no more until my son is healed,” her eyes flashed, “or he is returned to me.”

Or if he is dead and they failed. It went unsaid, but not unheard.

Caleb cast _Dancing Lights_ and waited for the orbs of green light to appear in the air, moving where he guided them. The first place he checked was the closet. He slowly slid the door open and peered inside.

There, sitting curled on the floor, a blanket wrapped around his quivering body so hardly anything was visible, was Essek. Kneeling by his friend, Caleb placed a gentle hand on what he believed to be Essek’s head. Instantly, the quaking stopped and he heard the sharp intake of breath.

“Essek,” he called softly, pitching his voice low to keep from frightening his Enfeebled friend, “it’s me, Caleb. Beau is here too. We’ve come to take you to Xhorhouse. Would you like to come with us?”

The Drow mage may not understand Caleb’s words right now, but he might one day. Caleb didn’t know enough about the _Feeblemind_ spell to be sure if the victim remembered anything while under the enchantment after they were free. He wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse in its own right.

Still, when the blanket shifted and Essek’s pale gold eyes appeared from the shadows under the blanket’s perceived protection, he couldn’t help but smile. “Hallo,” he said, holding out his free hand to his friend, “would you like to come with me?”

A shadow shifted and Beau was now squatting next to him, gazing at Essek with a thoughtful expression on her face. “Hey man,” she said, her lips quirking upwards. “You wanna come get a drink with us? Caduceus was brewing something else I think you might like. I promise it has a better name than last time.”

There was no comprehension in Essek’s eyes, but there was a blooming warmth that translated into a watery smile. Something glittered on Essek’s dark cheeks in the green glow of the _Dancing Lights_ and Caleb felt his heart clench. Tear streaks, some fresh, some old, betrayed the fear and loneliness Essek had been suffering from since the Mighty Nein left last night.

Then both Caleb and Beau found themselves with an armful of Drow. Essek looped his arms around both of their necks, buried his face between them, and held on tight. Caleb couldn’t resist reaching up and burying his hand in Essek’s short white hair, tugging it gently before shifting Essek to Beau and getting to his feet. Golden eyes still followed Caleb’s movement and a gray hand still caught the corner of Caleb’s coat, preventing him from moving too far away.

“Umavi Thelyss,” Caleb said, bowing respectfully to the Drow woman. “We’re ready to leave. We’ll remain in contact with you regarding our progress.”

“I expect nothing less,” she said, tilting her head in acknowledgment. “Which is why I would like you to take Verin with you.”

Ah, yes. Caleb glanced at the older Thelyss brother. “That is fine,” he said. “Come.”

He waved Verin closer, waiting until the Drow was within touching distance.

“We will keep in touch, Umavi,” he said.

“Farewell for now then,” Deirta said.

Beau scooped Essek up in her arms bridal style, much to Essek’s vocal surprise, and stepped up so she stood between Caleb and Verin.

“And Caleb,” the Denmother called as the Human wizard prepared to cast _Teleport_. “If I find either of my sons have died under the Mighty Nein’s care,” her silver eyes gleamed, “then there will be nowhere in this world, or in any lifetime you experience, where you can hide from me.”

“I would expect nothing less,” he replied.

Truly, mothers were fearsome creatures.


End file.
